Tame That Tongue

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By Jireh Victor Dela Cruz, Philippines

We communicate primarily with spoken words. The tongue, which comprises of 16 muscles, is the main organ responsible for our speech. Though it is small, its function affects a great deal of one’s life. James 3:2-8 compares the tongue to a small spark that can set a great forest on fire! How can something so small cause so much trouble?

A children’s rhyme goes like this:

Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But words will never hurt me.

Did you believe this when you were younger? As I grew older, I found this only partly true. For we know that our speech has an impact on almost everything we do, and that words can be emotionally hurting. Proverbs 12:18 says, “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

Of course we are not talking about just any harmless jokes or teasing among friends, but something more serious. For example, name-calling has caused many problems when dealing with another person. Be it “weakling”, “ugly duckling”, “failure”, “shorty”, “chubby” etc. Some may be terms of endearment but more often than not, they cause the child to develop low self-esteem. Criticizing others is just as destructive. We have heard stories of countless individuals who are led to commit rash acts simply because “someone said something nasty” about them (of course, this does not excuse their actions).

In this verse, the opposite of “reckless words that pierce like a sword” is the “tongue of the wise [that] brings healing.” Do we say things without thinking—hurting others with our words, or do we utter words that can somehow heal a broken heart?

Truth is, we find it easier to say bad things than good things. Don’t underestimate words which are powerful enough to encourage and give hope to those in need. Sometimes it only takes a kind word to lift a person’s spirit (Proverbs 12:25).

Communication plays a big part in any relationship. What we say affects how we relate with one another. More often than not, we tend to judge others by what and how they speak. Isn’t this how non-Christians see us too? Most of the time, what we do and say gives them a picture of what Christians are like.

As Christians, we are reminded to be mindful of our speech since it is the same tongue that we use to praise the Lord. James 3:9-10 tell us, “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness.  Out of the same mouth comes praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.”

In Paul’s letter to the Colossians, he told the believers in Christ to be a good testimony in the community, specifically with their speech, “Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person“ (Colossians 4:5-6, esv)

How do we then use our 16-muscle organ in the right way?

Proverbs 4:23 seems to have the answer. In order to hold our tongues, we must guard another muscle (or organ, for that matter)—the heart. Jesus concurred that what you really are (or your motives) can be reflected in the things that you say (Matthew 12:34).

Therefore, by guarding our hearts, we do not even need to worry about what we say, for we would only speak words that are encouraging and edifying to one another, and those that give glory and honor to God.
To tame the tongue, we guard our heart. How then do we guard our hearts? Not on our own, but by God’s grace. We meditate on His Word, the Bible, as “a lamp to [our] feet, and a light to [our] path” (Ps 119:105). By this we also ask God to look into our hearts and take away all unrighteousness. Like David, in Psalm 139:23-24, he cried to the Lord, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

In closing, may Psalm 19:14 be our prayer always, “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.”