ODJ: clouded vision


August 10, 2011 


To discipline a child produces wisdom (v.15).  

READ: Proverbs 29:15-21 

Seven years ago, she stayed after Bible study to talk about her struggles as a mom. With a child nearing preadolescence, she was torn between making decisions that would make her daughter feel different than her peers and wanting the young girl to “fit in” to avoid the social ostracism of her own teen years. Today her daughter “fits in” a little too well. Beautiful and talented, she’s dating the “cool” guy who is charismatic and popular. She’s got it all. Everything, that is, but her virginity.

Having ministered to youth for many years, my husband and I have observed a lot about parenting from the outside. Still in the trenches with our own two children, we’re far from having all the answers. Sadly though, we’ve had front row seats to a few situations where parents have relinquished their responsibility to protect their child in exchange for the vicarious affirmation they receive through the teen’s acceptance by others.

Before we can make truly selfless decisions for our children, we have to go head to head with our own insecurities. If we see things through our own scars, we may be tempted to overlook an issue that needs to be addressed. For we’re caught up in the fact that our child has gained something (or someone) we didn’t have.

In Proverbs 29, Solomon reminds us of the biblical principle that godly shepherding isn’t always comfortable and painless (John 10:12-15). It often requires that we risk the ire of those we love by giving them the “wisdom” (Proverbs 29:15) and “guidance” (v.18) that will preserve their physical, emotional, and spiritual health.

Let’s remember the purpose and privilege we’ve been given to lead others, as a parent or otherwise—to see them grow in Christlikeness. Leading requires clear, not clouded, vision. —Regina Franklin

NEXT
What are some of the insecurities you faced as a teenager? How can you use the painful things you experienced to help you make wise decisions about your children? 

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