Short Story: Social(ly Unacceptable) Network

---

“Can you believe this?” Jeff says from the chair to my right. “My older brother says when he started using Myspace, our parents thought it was evil. And now everyone’s parents have a Facebook account. This is stupid.”

I have to agree with him. Mr. Lee, the school counselor, has been lecturing us for the past half hour in this never-ending school assembly. “The Perils of Social Networking” is what his presentation is called. At least my parents are pretty cool about Facebook. When they realized how big Facebook was getting, they told me I could keep mine as long as I “friended” them. Since I don’t have anything to hide from them, I don’t see any harm in doing so. The only downside is when I post a hilarious status that’s making a killing and my mom tries to be funny by leaving a completely unfunny comment. Total buzzkill.

“I know,” I respond to Jeff, “Wait, oh good, I think he’s wrapping up.”

“So,” Mr. Lee breaths, “We’ve talked about the dangers of posting personal information, meeting with strangers we’ve met online, sexting, and cyber-bullying. Again, the student council, the staff here, and I cannot stress enough that what you put online doesn’t only reflect your character but your family, this school, and your whole community. Every morning when I look in the mirror, I don’t want to see an ugly reflection! So let’s make sure we have a real good lookin’ reflection!”

After briefly chuckling at his own clumsy cheesy joke, he steps back and the student council leads an applause. Jeff, me, and most of the other students I see only clap halfheartedly as our principal steps up to the podium to make some announcements before dismissing us to class. By the time we reach the auditorium doors, the information we’ve just heard is totally forgotten.

***

“How was school today?” my mom asks the same question she always asks at dinner. But then she adds something different to the usual, “I heard you had an assembly.”

“What was the assembly about?” Dad asks, “Anything important?”

“No,” I mutter between bites, “They were just talking about Facebook and stuff.”

“Mrs. King seems very concerned about it,” Mom says and I can tell she’s poking a little fun at Jeff’s mom, Mrs. King. She purposely exaggerates her facial expression to show what she thinks about Mrs. King’s frequent overreactions without talking badly about her. Mom thing.

“Just like a woman,” Dad jokingly whispers to me.

“Eat your vegetables dear,” Mom quips at him with a smile, “Mrs. King had a few good points.”

My ears perk when I hear her say that. This can’t be good. Mrs. King is definitely one of those parents who cause widespread panic at the thought of anything new or fun. I’m not exaggerating. Some people always have to have something to complain about.

“You’re kidding right?”

“She’s actually not,” Dad tells me. “The Kings are worried the whole Internet issue won’t go away with one assembly. So we’re helping them bring it up to the Parent-Teacher Association and hopefully get some continuing programs.”

Continuing? Meaning it would be like having that assembly all day, every day?

“This is a good school,” Mom adds in her don’t-get-the-wrong-idea voice, “We wouldn’t have enrolled you there otherwise. But the school board has been slow to adapt to certain changes in our culture. Hence we’ll be suggesting updates to some school policies so as to make sure it stays a good place.”

She said that last part in her gentle but firm we’ve-already-decided-arguing-won’t-help-so-don’t-try-it voice. She has a lot of different voices. Another mom thing. When she implies arguing won’t stop Dad and her from doing something, she means it. So I might as well live with it.

“Okay,” I say in surrender.

***

For the past few weeks, rumors about the parents and staff’s plans have been flying. Some people are saying the school board won’t allow us to text during school hours. And the student body is in a panic over it, just as I thought would happen. Most of the time, students would just talk among themselves. One day, Jeff declared in frustration: “I hate how our school is so obsessed with Facebook and texting now! Sorry guys, my parents are crazy!”

Unfortunately, it’s only going to get worse because we have another assembly today.

All the students are seated but for some reason the stage is empty. Somebody turns off the lights and images start flashing across the projector screen. It’s a YouTube video of Mr. Lee sitting in his office. He has switched things up. Oh man, it’s never good when teachers do that.

“Morning y’all,” the virtual Mr. Lee greets us, “I understand there’s been some controversy about the school’s stance on social networking and the other things we talked about at the last assembly. Most of you probably didn’t know that I’m an avid vlogger. So I thought why not do this assembly and my next video in one swing?

“Now, before we get started, I just want to say, I know what you’re thinking,” he smiles mischievously and then says in a falsetto voice, “ ‘Oh boy, here we go. Crazy, ol’ Mr. Lee is at it again.’ But in order for us to move forward as a school, we need to be on the same page. Some of you have voiced your opinions about the teachers being paranoid about Facebook, texting, and other things like that. We’re going to try to change but we’re not the only ones who need to learn a little bit about this technology.”

The screen changes to a shot of someone’s Facebook account with names and pictures blurred out. Mr. Lee does a voiceover.

“This is the account page of a student here.”

A similar shot flicks across the screen.

“So is this.”

The screen switches again, but this time it is a collage of six Facebook pages.

“So are all of these. What do they have in common? Yep, the comments you see are all trashing the rumored policies and the school in general. There’s nothing wrong with voicing your opinion but some of these personal attacks are pretty nasty. And it can be read by anyone. Well, that’s the problem.”

The screen changes again.

“Here’s an exchange that you can see took place during the last assembly,” Mr. Lee chuckles before he reads the posts. “ ‘Can you believe this? My older brother says when he started using Myspace our parents thought it was evil. And now everyone’s parents have a Facebook account. This is stupid.’ ”

Oh yeah…we were Facebooking each other on our phones during the last assembly.

“Yikes, your teachers can see that guys. And there’s nothing stopping your parents from seeing your status. ‘I hate how our school is so obsessed with Facebook and texting now! Sorry guys, my parents are crazy!’ ”

Nice one, Jeff. Looks like we’re going to have to deal with this whole Facebook/texting/YouTube/whatever paranoia for a long time…

Thoughts: Like all tools, new technology can be used for good or bad. Clearheaded judgment helps us determine how we use these tools. We need not be afraid of new things because God has told His followers not to fear (Isaiah 41:10 is one example). At the same time, we must recognize that it is foolish to disregard the opinions of an older generation (Proverbs 4:1). But of course, the best wisdom comes from God. A healthy fear of the Lord will help us use the tools He’s given us for good, because the “fear of the Lord is the foundation of true knowledge” (Proverbs 1:7).