ODJ: restrained
February 27, 2011
I have warned him that judgment is coming upon his family forever, because his sons are blaspheming God and he hasn’t disciplined them (v.13).
READ: 1 Samuel 3:1-14
Since my nephew’s birthday is 11 days before mine, we often celebrate together. This year we decided to do something different, so the extended family—grandparents included—went to eat pizza and play laser tag. At one point, I inadvertently fired my laser gun at one of my own team members, thinking he was a spy. Somehow missing the point that I was an adult and he was a pre-teen, the young kid called out sarcastically, “I’m on your team, genius!” I had to crucify the desire to send him to time-out.
As parents, one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is self-control. Growing up in a society of instant gratification, they face significant challenges in learning the power of restraint. The problem, though, is not a new one. Eli, the priest of Israel during the time of Samuel’s childhood, had two sons who “were scoundrels who had no respect for the Lord” (1 Samuel 2:12). They denied their flesh nothing, and Eli did little to stop them.
To think that we would repress our children’s ability to express themselves by giving them boundaries for their behavior: this would give them a wrong definition of love (Hebrews 12:6). What’s more, refraining from saying the word “no” does not protect our children from the unpleasant things in life; rather, it leaves them unprotected. As Proverbs 25:28 says, “A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.”
Maturity isn’t measured by how old we are or how much we know, but in our response to adversity. Just as an athlete or artist focuses on the benefits of discipline while understanding its cost, we should look for opportunities to tell our children “yes” without avoiding the times we need to say “no.” —Regina Franklin
In what area of your life is God challenging you to learn restraint? How should you be more consistent in your expectations of others, including (if applicable) your children?
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