ODJ: can’t stand it
September 19, 2010
It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife (v.19).
READ: Proverbs 21:19-31
While journeying down the Yangtze River last year, a Chinese ferry crew became concerned when a passenger burst out of his cabin with his hands covering his ears screaming, “I can’t stand it any longer!” Crewmembers followed the distraught passenger to the ferry’s railing, wondering if he was suffering from an ear injury. As they talked with him, the man’s wife rushed up and began to nag him loudly. The man covered his ears again, cried out, “I need a break!” and then jumped over the railing. The fast-moving Yangtze is dangerous and claims many lives each year. Thankfully, the man was later rescued, having battled the raging 2-kilometer-wide river. “I felt I was dying,” he reportedly told police, “but even that’s better than my wife’s nagging!”
According to the book of Proverbs, a wife is a gift from God (18:22), and the “wife of noble character” (31:10 NIV) is to be praised by all (v.28). But Proverbs also laments a nagging, quarrelsome wife. She’s like the constant dripping of a leaky tap (19:13). It’s better to live in a corner of the attic than to live with her (21:9). Run to the desert to find some relief (v.19). Our Chinese friend would surely agree!
Are women more prone to the sin of quarrelsome nagging than men? I’ll leave you to debate that one! Needless to say, the more important issue is what we do with such a sin. “Do everything without complaining and arguing,” the apostle Paul reminds us (Philippians 2:14). Our quarrels can be driven by pride (Proverbs 13:10), greed, and selfishness (James 4:1-3)—things which are to be “put to death” (Colossians 3:5) and replaced with humility, kindness, and patience (v.12).
The quarrelsome person is hard to endure (Proverbs 26:21). Everyone loses in a home fraught with endless complaints. Choose, instead, to lift up and encourage those you love. —Sheridan Voysey
What causes you to nag or complain? Have your wishes been driven by selfishness, greed, impatience? How will you make legitimate requests for change without resorting to nagging?
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